A mélange of design, photography, music and life from Madison, Wisconsin

I, Anonymous

Posted: June 3rd, 2010 | Author: | Filed under: Bicycles | 1 Comment »

Art by Beto Janz

From SLOG (The Stranger- Seattle) The bold is theirs btw:

Fuck You, Bike to Work Day People!

I bike to work every day. Sure, I do it because it’s my only source of exercise but mostly because we only have one car and my husband works in the south end. So we’re doing our part to be green and shit, right? Right. So on Bike to Work Day, I stop at the Dexter and Fremont ‘Commute Stop’ to share in the love with my fellow brethren and pick up my swag. But what do I get when I go up to the booth? Nothing. Not a glance. And you want to know why? I’m gonna tell you why. Because I don’t look like I’ve been dipped head-to-toe in Spandex. Because I’m not wearing bike shorts with a pillow strapped to my ass. My commute is 2.4 MILES and I refuse to dress up like radioactive Playmobile doll for 15 minutes. I can bike up Dexter in my Capri pants and ballet flats just as good as the rest of you motherfuckers. So you know what, Bike to Work People? You can keep your fucking socks and plastic bottles and annoying blinking lights. You can admire my ass in my NON-PADDED jeans when I pass your fat one going up Dexter, my Pashmina scarf flying in your face.

The comments are off the hook hilarious!

  • good letter. but here here for fat asses! i dont like your skinny bitch ass, makes me limp. i hate skinny bitches that think they hotter than thicker girls
  • Who the fuck wears a pashmina while riding a bike? Did Isadora Duncan die in vain?
  • Also, virtually all bike helmets are fucking ugly, and don’t seem to be well designed to protect a person’s head anyway. I’m not Lance Armstrong; I don’t need an aerodynamic helmet.
  • EVERYBODY knows that if you don’t wear padded spandex shorts and shirts with red flashy logos, clip-on shoes, blinking lights, aerodynamic helmet and shades, whilst riding on your $10k Trek you’re a loser. It’s the law. Darn hippies.
  • You can bike to work in a gorilla suit for all I fucking care.
  • It must be tough to ride with that enormous chip on your shoulder. Perhaps you should try pulling some of those specials shorts over your head to pad your shoulders….

One Comment on “I, Anonymous”

  1. 1 Robin said at 2:15 pm on June 7th, 2010:

    Fixed that. Thanks for your vigilance!